On convenience, faith, and medicine

It has certainly been a while. This is mostly an exercise of jotting down a stream of consciousness after a sermon that really spoke to me and a post-sermon conversation that really sparked some excitement into the mystery of God's plans for us. I apologize in advance for the grammar or syntax; like I said, it has definitely been a while.

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Today when I attended my girlfriend's younger sister's church, I was originally somewhat reserved, out of the stark contrast to how my church back home was. Gone were the multi-generational ministries, gone were the multi-ethnic ministries, and gone was the packed worship room facing a functional organ. I found myself in a church that was predominantly Chinese and Korean, almost entirely young adults, in a semi-empty elementary school auditorium with a small worship band on stage. This is by no means to detract from the power of God's work in this church; rather, the differences were simply put, not what I was comfortable in or something that I would choose "out of convenience."

Interestingly, this was the topic that their head pastor decided to tackle this Sunday morning. The scripture being Mark 11:15-19, it describes the story of Jesus returning to Jerusalem, only to see that the area in the great temple that was dedicated for the Gentiles to worship was filled with marketers trying to make a profit. People back in the day had to walk long distances to the temple for worship, and would need to bring along their animals that were going to be used for sacrifice. This was often an arduous journey, and the unfortunate scenario would happen that their sacrifice would obtain a blemish along the way, making it unfit for sacrifice. Thus, for convenience, these marketers would set up shop in the temple to provide unblemished sacrificial animals...at an absurdly marked up price. The apt example that the pastor used was a comparison to how sport stadium food and drink is grossly inflated beyond all reason.  Jesus went stomping through the temple, flipping tables, angrily telling these marketers to leave the temple, for they have "turned the house of prayer for all nations into a den of robbers."

This really resonated with me in the sense that we as a people often look for ways to make things more convenient and opt for the path of least resistance rather than the more difficult, possibly more righteous route. With this in mind, I uncrossed my arms and let down this guard of expectation, and just tried to see what God had in store for my visit here at this church.

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During the post-sermon social period, I ended up talking to a young man who originally was interested in the medical field as well, but due to financial and personal circumstance, was not able to immediately pursue it. He instead went to a school associated with the Air Force, and learned to be a pilot instead. He described how he was still interested, and wanted to fly medical missions trips where not only medical specialists were needed, but pilots as well. He described how he flies non-profit flights with a group called Angelflight, which provides a no-cost trip for those disabled or unable to fly regular, commercial airlines due to medical issues or machinery. He told me of a story how one flight was particularly turbulent, and out of concern for his "client", he went back to check to make sure she was okay. It turned out that she was writing him and his fellow co-pilot thank you cards. The messy writing only made that card that much more meaningful: no matter how turbulent or difficult it was to write, their client was immensely grateful for what they were doing for her, and she had to make sure that they knew that she was appreciative.

This really made me re-evaluate where I stood, being a medical student who has, in all honesty, never been in the real world or part of the work force. I have safely placed myself in the "education bubble" and as a result, never needed to think beyond my next test or my next patient. It let me recall how I felt God's calling to pursue medical school. It let me recall the fascination that my fellow Christians had in the young adult bible study small group when I recounted my hospital experiences. And finally, it let me recall how I could glorify God in each and every patient encounter.

I start my family medicine clerkship rotation when I come back from break. After working the surgery work hours, the outpatient setting of family medicine will be a welcome change. More importantly however, it puts me back into the outpatient setting. In my short span of providing patient care up to this point, I have found that many of the most meaningful conversations I've had have been with patients at these outpatient clinics. Away from the bells and whistles, hustle and bustle of the inpatient hospital floors, after closing the clinical exam room door, it is like the whole world has been shut out and it is just me and the patient, able to fully maximize doctor-patient confidentiality. In my conversation with the young pilot, I described how many patients will put down a generic chief complaint, but in reality have many deeper, darker secrets that they wish to disclose, waiting for an open opportunity and open ear to talk about why they're really here. In my shadowing and my own trial and error, my beginning line for taking a history in the outpatient setting is always a variant of "What can I do for you?" or "What do you want to talk about today?" The classic "open-ended question" technique that we learn in medical school may be that opportunity that the patient is waiting for to disclose his domestic abuse, her alcohol addition, or their concern towards a sexually transmitted infection, and are either too ashamed or too frightened to put it down on the entrance questionnaire. I compared this privilege like a "medical confessional" where patients could come to receive advice of how to proceed from someone who will be non-judgmental and sworn to confidentiality. The young pilot told me that upon hearing this, he was even more motivated to pursue some kind of medical training, and that he was extremely excited for what God had in store for me when I returned to being a medical student full time again.

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The sermon, coupled with this conversation that I had afterward, really drove home the point that our faith is not about convenience. It is not about checking off another task on the Sunday to-do list; rather, it is to hopefully find ways to integrate your faith into what God has called you to do, regardless of how challenging that may be. I exchanged phone numbers with the young pilot, to keep in touch and to periodically check in and see where God has called each of us in the future. I am excited to hear where God leads him next, and equally excited to see what God has for in store for me in the new year, in the remainder of my M3 year, and the remaining time I have in medical school.