I can see clearly now...

The door opens.

Flash.

My head is spinning, my eyes still hurting from the initial shock of the bright sunlight reflecting through the clouds, off the snow on the ground. I think to myself, "I haven't seen this much snow in quite a while." As I rub my eyes clear of the glare, I see the path before me.

The normally green-brown lawn has turned to a pure white, a great contrast to the red brick buildings that stand resolute in the background. A shrill wind teases me as it floats by and reminds me to zip up my coat. I soon realize that my glove are sitting in my room still, unwilling to leave the comforts of a warm, heated room.

As I trudge through the slush, turned back from all the shoes and boots that have stepped before me, I exhale once, slowly, playing: making smoke rings with no pipe. As I wait to cross the street, a car slides 4 feet before slowly coming to a stop, rear wheels fishtailing behind the steering wheel. Finally, after gaining a sense of confidence back, the car slowly turns right and continues on its way, at half of the speed it came. I shrug and walk through the center's twin doors.

I grab a coffee, put down my things, pull out a book I've been meaning to read for a long time, and slide on my headphones. As the ambient sounds of the commons starts to fade out, I'm brought into Motown, listening to soul and funk. I dive into my book and breathe a nice, slow breath of relief.

Good times.

The Mirror

I don't normally hide things in my room, but this would have to be an exception.

I have this mirror, a special mirror, that no one has seen besides me. I keep it in the drawer, next to where I keep all my consumable sundries. It is medium sized and round, about the face of perhaps a small medicine ball. It is framed with a silver-gray pewter finish, and the mirror itself has been kept clear and shimmering through careful maintenance and cleaning.

This mirror is not like any other mirror. In the contrary, it doesn't show me what I expect to see. It doesn't show me, what I want, need, or think to see. Rather, it shows me the things that few people are gifted to see, let alone speak up about. I'm not sure when I first found this mirror. I'm not even sure how long I plan on using it. Whenever I try to put it away, I somehow find myself looking into it again, asking it for confirmation, expecting the contrary.

In times when I see vanity and dressing up, my mirror shows me times of relaxed, sloppy comfort. In times when I see intelligence, my mirror shows me foolishness. When I feel sadness, my mirror shows me ecstasy and unparalleled joy. My mirror is perspective; it brings me down when I'm high and prideful, it raises me up when I'm down in the dumps. After all, what is beautiful without ugly, what is smart without dumb, what is pride without humility?

Tonight is no exception. I've taken out the mirror again, not even knowing what to expect. As I peer into the glossy transparent-looking surface of the mirror, I feel myself falling into it, never stopping for anything, unable to stop for everything. Despite this, I don't feel out of control, just confused, perhaps lost. I know I am psychologically, physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained; my mirror shows a past me, a carefree young boy of 10, free of repercussions and social pressures, full of energy. Do I want to return to that state? Is that something to yearn for? Naivety traded in for freedom? Ignorance for bliss?

I smile, put the mirror back into its spot in the drawer, and slowly shut the drawer, turn off the lights, and walk out the door, making sure the door closed behind me.

The 5 Ws

Why, do things in life tend to turn out complicated?

Where, is the line between "close friend" and "crush"?

When, if ever, is it appropriate to look at that someone in a different light?

What, would the circumstances need to be?

Who, is in control of the situation?

Just thought it was interesting.

Power of Music

These are my confessions. I ain't got no money; I know St. Peter won't call my name. You and me could write a bad romance. I used to rule the world; I used to be commander-in-chief of my pimp ship flyin' high. I've been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage and the sky is falling down. Who would have ever knew everything you own's in the box to the left. Just dance, it'll be okay, turn up the radio, blast your stereo now. Party every night, p-p-p-party every night. It all keeps adding up, I think I'm cracking up. I've been travelling on this road so long; just trying to find my way back home. Say it ain't so, I will not go; turn the lights off, carry me home. My tummy's a tumblin' and I'm feelin' kinda homesick; too much pressure and I'm nervous. Jesus can't save you, life starts when the church ends. I'mma fight, til we see the sunlight.

I've got a feeling.