A dib of confusion, a dab of concern

One of the most common phrases here around this time of year is easily: "Merry Christmas!" But honestly, what is so merry about it? The gifts? The people? The parties? What I'm asking is, when everything is boiled down and distilled away, is the holiday spirit?

When I was little, the holiday spirit was waking up to find a new video game or toy underneath the Christmas tree, and not being able to put that down for the next week. Soon after that, it was finding the next cool electronic gizmo that had appeared on the market, and thanking my parents or whoever got me such a gift. Now that I'm nearing the end of my teenage years, I feel like I've lost that intangible factor that makes the holidays that much more enjoyable. We used to pull out the good old Christmas tree and spend an entire day with Mom, Dad, and Grace decorating said tree. We used to put lights on the outside of our house. We used to have the grandparents over for the holidays.

None of that is true for this Christmas. Dad and Grace are enjoying the warmer climate of Cancun, whereas Mom and I are not so fortunate due to expired passports. Although the aspect of not being able to go to Cancun supposedly would dampen one's spirits, I don't think that's the main reason of this reflection.

A close friend of mine told me, "The holidays allow people to be fat and lazy, outside of their normal schedules." I believe her, as it would make perfect sense, and many of my friends have now adapted their new sleep schedule, which designates the time between 5AM to 2PM as bedtime. I, however, have not done the same. I don't know whether it is that I am unable to do so, or merely that I don't want to adopt said regimen. To match what my friend said, I am somehow unable to be fat nor lazy. Now fat can be understood given my metabolic circumstances, but lazy? I find myself wide awake around 9AM, doing random menial tasks for Mom before just sitting in front of my piano, figuring out the next song on my list of songs to play by ear. Is this the holiday spirit? I don't think so.

Who can say, "No" to 1.5 hours of shovelling 6-8 inches of snow and ice...while it is pouring? It's that "ray of sunshine" that is perfect for starting off one's cheery day, right? Another one of my friends said that she HAS to get out of Michigan, hopefully sooner and not later. The weather is indeed a downer. Don't get me wrong, I love snow, but the snow is slushy, the roads are just sloppy and muddy, not to mention dangerous-on my way to a friend's house that is 10minutes away, I managed to see 3 people spin out, including one spin out into the middle of the intersection. Is that the holiday spirit? I don't believe so.

Then again, I've been mentally, physically, and emotional exhausted by a difficult 3rd semester of college. Granted, I'm not even halfway through my of college experience, and if I aspire to be a doctor, I'm far from done with my educational journey. It just seems that I live to work to live; a vicious cycle that will carry me throughout my adult life and until I eventually retire. The breaks we get for the holidays, I feel are just a method of giving me a small hiatus before I jump right into another semester of difficult classes, and the occasional sleepless night filled with homework, Ramen and Full Throttle and/or Powerade. Is this the holiday spirit? I don't know, really.

So after some thought, I'm completely baffled on why we celebrate Christmas, or any other holiday. I mean, I understand the whole biblical references of Christmas (in which most people don't celebrate Christmas for), and how other holidays have similar historical references and stories; the issue I'm concerned about, is have we lost the true meaning of these holidays? I, for one, am a little downed by this.

Do enlighten me.