The Return

It has only been too long since I last posted my note of hiatus.

Recently, in my writing intensive (and when I say intensive, I mean intensive) class, I had been struggling all semester long (up through this far, at least) trying to find my writing mojo. It was a frustrating time where not only did my writing grade suffer for it, my motivation for blogging was also shot.

However, the last paper, one that required us to analyze, break down, and conceptualize the reasons behind the success of a political speech, was one that played to my forte. I've always viewed myself as someone who writes well when he is analyzing. As Ronald Reagan said, "it's a time to return to the first principles."

Finding my writing mojo was easier than I thought. I had to return to the basics of what made me a writer. I wrote my best when I was painting a scene, conducting a musical score of letters and words. I wrote my best when I wasn't thinking, calculating my next line of argument. Well this is the return to what works. My last paper (and the good grade that came with it) was the affirmation of my writing style, and the confirmation of hope that He provided in response to my prayers.

My creativity is reflected not only in writing, but also my music. I've been so busy and hung up on the whirlwind of things that is happening around me, that I haven't really had time to indulge in delicious melodies, to dive into a sea of harmonies, and just lose myself in the synthesis of it all.

Tonight, I return to what I want to do with my late nights. Tonight, I sing with the stars. It's good to be back.

A better writer would have come up with a witty title for this.

I find myself struggling more and more to write academically. Actually, this is applied to writing in general. Perhaps it is because I am less passionate about each of the things that I am writing about, and/or not very well-versed in the topics for which I am required to move my pen.

As I continue to struggle with this growing problem, I feel nothing but just frustration; the lost creativity, the lost motivation, the lost concentration is something that I cannot get back very easily, or so it seems.

Until I find these three things, I may or may not post here. I will be back, but as of now, I need some help finding myself again.

The Puzzle Box

A concept that I've been recently exploring is the idea of being a child of god, and how one is fulfilled through complete trust and faith in the Lord.

Remember those puzzle boxes we used to play with as children, the one with the star shaped hole, the square shaped hole, and the circle shaped hole, and the respective blocks? Even when we were little, we soon figured out that the only way to get the blocks into the box, you needed to put the star block through the star hole, the square block in the square hole, and the circle block in the circle hole. Makes sense, no? http://image.made-in-china.com/2f0j00OMWaSJVlyrqd/Wooden-Building-Blocks-Box-861014-.jpg

Now imagine yourself as one of these puzzle boxes. However, instead of these geometric shapes, we have an interestingly shaped God-shaped hole. That's right...a hole shaped of God. Now, in our defiance and breaking away from the Heavenly Father, we think we're mature enough to be able to substitute whatever we want in this God-shaped hole. This is what we as Christians see as idols. We try to fit money, sex, career, family, love, relationships into the hole meant for God, and it leaves us empty and unfulfilled, since none of these fit correctly.

Only after we accept that there is nothing that we could possibly substitute for God, and that we have a loving Father God that allows us to become children again, and "regress" back into that childhood logic. Everything was much simpler back then: God is the only thing that fits into the God-shaped hole. When that happens, we are fulfilled, we are happy, we are faithful.

We have then, and only then, become children of God.