What does it mean, to be an extrovert?  Does it mean you like talking?  Does it mean you're attention seeking? Does it mean you derive happiness from being around others?  Does it mean you like going out?  Or is it a little bit of all of the above?

From my Myers-Briggs tests, the one thing that truly stands out above all else, is the fact that there is no introverted aspect to my personality.  I am (I've taken the Myers-Briggs at like 3 different stages of my life) 100% Extroverted.  That being said, I don't always showcase those stereotypical extroverted signs, nor am I usually the absolute most extroverted individual at any given point in time.

So why or how am I 100% E then?  The question stems upon how Myers-Briggs defines extroverted, and how that plays into my personality.  From their scale, I exhibit all the aspects or signs of extroversion, however, In reality, I actually show each of these signs to a lesser extent than other people, who may only exhibit 1 or 2 out of...let's say 4 traits.  This way, they are 50% E, but those two traits they may have, are very apparent.

This came up one day when I sat at a big dinner with some people that I knew.  I did not feel any obligation to get up and talk to everyone; in fact, I felt happy for once that I was in the background, just listening and observing, only really popping into conversation when I truly felt like I had something to contribute.

What's interesting is that ever since I've made it into med school, I've found myself in a role where I don't talk nearly as much as maybe some people remember me.  I find myself in a situation in which I don't know the solution.  I am more than confident that most people who know me in the medical school either have seen my argumentative, explosive side, and hence write me off as an asshole.  Albeit, I call myself that all the time, to have it be a general sentiment is, well, a whole other story.  I find myself dealing with said phenomenon by simply staying silent, biting my tongue when I feel the urge to snap at someone.  Of course, this usually just results in me sitting and listening, rather than contributing.  Those people who don't understand me (which is most, let's be honest), will just take it as me being judgy and having nothing really important to add to the conversation, and thus, ignore me altogether.

So, to bring this conversation full circle, what do you do when you're an extrovert that no one appreciates, or cares to talk to?

To this end, I've found myself doing better in 1 on 1 conversations, where the chance of someone misunderstanding me or me offending someone to be...well, smaller.  Second chances are a treasure to be cherished, as forgiveness is not easy to come by.

Med school, you have taught me plenty.

2012.Resolutions.Reflections

Hey everyone, I apologize for my tardiness in posting up 2012 reflections and New Year's Resolutions, but 2011 has definitely not been a regular year, by any means.  Celebrating and welcoming the New Year an hour before even the crystal ball dropping in Times Square (the US Virgin Islands are an hour ahead, go figure), was not the only new experience...but rather than hearing fireworks, the loud crackles and pops were later explained to my dad and me--they were celebratory gunshots.  Talk about the non-conventional.

At any rate, back to tradition and convention with some thoughts on waving the 2011 year goodbye, and things to work on in 2012:

1. Not only read, but live the Living Word.  One of my key resolutions from 2011 was to practice real tithing, where I would give 10% of my spending per week and give it to the church I attended.  To this end, I was successful in reaching my goal of going one year of truly giving 10%.  It was definitely with sacrifice, and compromises were made when it came to personal spending.  This has helped me become more disciplined in spending on myself, on not being focused on material, earthly possessions, and that the true treasures are that of spirit, not of this world.  My goal for this year, is to really reflect those lessons learned from the Word into everyday living.  One section that I have particularly taken a liking to, as something for me to work on, is seen in James 3:1-12.  Taming of the tongue.  Those who know me know exactly what needs to happen here.

2. Buckle down.  Something that I never really truly thought I would need to remind myself with, and that was to take care of business academically.  I suppose in previous years and in lower levels of education, I was always fine with where I was relative to other people, in both comprehension, and grades.  In medical school, the competition may not be as outwardly apparent, and the pass/fail system really takes away the stress that would normally be a motivator for me to continuously strive for a higher percentage.  However, I am blessed with a good group of guys that not only help me study, but challenge me to understand better, and constantly push my limits on what I need to know and what I should know.  My resolution is to be more self-motivated to go beyond what is minimally necessary, (even if P=MD), and really enjoy the learning for what it is worth.

3. Be patient and live life.  I've always been impulsive.  It's come with its pros and cons; I've always been on the forefront of many aspects of my life because of gut instinct, natural intuition, and quick action.  However, this has also gotten me into trouble before, and I've realized that at this stage in my life, it is less appropriate to really rush through everything; rather, my resolution for this year is to really slow down and really let God take the reins.  God knows a lot more than I do, and clearly has a pretty good idea of where I am to end up, how I'm going to get there, and when I'm going to get there.  No need to rush a perfect game plan, hm?

That's all I have for this year, plenty of tough stuff to work on, but cheers to an exciting New Year in 2012!