On convenience, faith, and medicine

It has certainly been a while. This is mostly an exercise of jotting down a stream of consciousness after a sermon that really spoke to me and a post-sermon conversation that really sparked some excitement into the mystery of God's plans for us. I apologize in advance for the grammar or syntax; like I said, it has definitely been a while.

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Today when I attended my girlfriend's younger sister's church, I was originally somewhat reserved, out of the stark contrast to how my church back home was. Gone were the multi-generational ministries, gone were the multi-ethnic ministries, and gone was the packed worship room facing a functional organ. I found myself in a church that was predominantly Chinese and Korean, almost entirely young adults, in a semi-empty elementary school auditorium with a small worship band on stage. This is by no means to detract from the power of God's work in this church; rather, the differences were simply put, not what I was comfortable in or something that I would choose "out of convenience."

Interestingly, this was the topic that their head pastor decided to tackle this Sunday morning. The scripture being Mark 11:15-19, it describes the story of Jesus returning to Jerusalem, only to see that the area in the great temple that was dedicated for the Gentiles to worship was filled with marketers trying to make a profit. People back in the day had to walk long distances to the temple for worship, and would need to bring along their animals that were going to be used for sacrifice. This was often an arduous journey, and the unfortunate scenario would happen that their sacrifice would obtain a blemish along the way, making it unfit for sacrifice. Thus, for convenience, these marketers would set up shop in the temple to provide unblemished sacrificial animals...at an absurdly marked up price. The apt example that the pastor used was a comparison to how sport stadium food and drink is grossly inflated beyond all reason.  Jesus went stomping through the temple, flipping tables, angrily telling these marketers to leave the temple, for they have "turned the house of prayer for all nations into a den of robbers."

This really resonated with me in the sense that we as a people often look for ways to make things more convenient and opt for the path of least resistance rather than the more difficult, possibly more righteous route. With this in mind, I uncrossed my arms and let down this guard of expectation, and just tried to see what God had in store for my visit here at this church.

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During the post-sermon social period, I ended up talking to a young man who originally was interested in the medical field as well, but due to financial and personal circumstance, was not able to immediately pursue it. He instead went to a school associated with the Air Force, and learned to be a pilot instead. He described how he was still interested, and wanted to fly medical missions trips where not only medical specialists were needed, but pilots as well. He described how he flies non-profit flights with a group called Angelflight, which provides a no-cost trip for those disabled or unable to fly regular, commercial airlines due to medical issues or machinery. He told me of a story how one flight was particularly turbulent, and out of concern for his "client", he went back to check to make sure she was okay. It turned out that she was writing him and his fellow co-pilot thank you cards. The messy writing only made that card that much more meaningful: no matter how turbulent or difficult it was to write, their client was immensely grateful for what they were doing for her, and she had to make sure that they knew that she was appreciative.

This really made me re-evaluate where I stood, being a medical student who has, in all honesty, never been in the real world or part of the work force. I have safely placed myself in the "education bubble" and as a result, never needed to think beyond my next test or my next patient. It let me recall how I felt God's calling to pursue medical school. It let me recall the fascination that my fellow Christians had in the young adult bible study small group when I recounted my hospital experiences. And finally, it let me recall how I could glorify God in each and every patient encounter.

I start my family medicine clerkship rotation when I come back from break. After working the surgery work hours, the outpatient setting of family medicine will be a welcome change. More importantly however, it puts me back into the outpatient setting. In my short span of providing patient care up to this point, I have found that many of the most meaningful conversations I've had have been with patients at these outpatient clinics. Away from the bells and whistles, hustle and bustle of the inpatient hospital floors, after closing the clinical exam room door, it is like the whole world has been shut out and it is just me and the patient, able to fully maximize doctor-patient confidentiality. In my conversation with the young pilot, I described how many patients will put down a generic chief complaint, but in reality have many deeper, darker secrets that they wish to disclose, waiting for an open opportunity and open ear to talk about why they're really here. In my shadowing and my own trial and error, my beginning line for taking a history in the outpatient setting is always a variant of "What can I do for you?" or "What do you want to talk about today?" The classic "open-ended question" technique that we learn in medical school may be that opportunity that the patient is waiting for to disclose his domestic abuse, her alcohol addition, or their concern towards a sexually transmitted infection, and are either too ashamed or too frightened to put it down on the entrance questionnaire. I compared this privilege like a "medical confessional" where patients could come to receive advice of how to proceed from someone who will be non-judgmental and sworn to confidentiality. The young pilot told me that upon hearing this, he was even more motivated to pursue some kind of medical training, and that he was extremely excited for what God had in store for me when I returned to being a medical student full time again.

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The sermon, coupled with this conversation that I had afterward, really drove home the point that our faith is not about convenience. It is not about checking off another task on the Sunday to-do list; rather, it is to hopefully find ways to integrate your faith into what God has called you to do, regardless of how challenging that may be. I exchanged phone numbers with the young pilot, to keep in touch and to periodically check in and see where God has called each of us in the future. I am excited to hear where God leads him next, and equally excited to see what God has for in store for me in the new year, in the remainder of my M3 year, and the remaining time I have in medical school.

Take this note and read it!

This sermon I listened to recently was very convicting to me, and so I have compiled it to a certain extent, in a hope to share with everyone.

Now to preface this, the sermon series the church I go to is currently in is called "Surprised by Joy." This sermon in particular talked about what obstacles we have that hinder us to have Joy. After all, Phillippians 4:4 calls us to rejoice:

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 

So what really stops us from being joyful all the time? Life adversity, problems and sorrow, one would respond, get in the way. But the real answer seems a bit intuitive, albeit important to point out. We are unable to be joyful without God. Because of this, this leads us to the book of Nehemiah, where we derive 3 central tenets to remaining joyful in the face of adversity.

1. WHEN YOU WON'T FIGHT: Sometimes it is hard to really hard to motivate oneself to gather up the courage and fight. Nehemiah was rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, and those opposed to him would come and physically threaten them to stop building the wall. Nehemiah then told his men via Nehemiah 4:14, and then armed them all with swords, bows and spears:

Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight...

2. WHEN YOU THINK THE ENEMY IS TOO BIG: The difficulty is just compounded if the adversity is so daunting, that you believe it can't be beat. The sense of being David going in to fight Goliath is intimidating and nerve-racking...minimum. But the idea is to always pick your battles wisely, and not jump in blind, but keep a level head about yourself. Nehemiah continued to build his walls and the enemy continue to harangue him with not threats this time, but cordial invitations to "peace talks." Nehemiah knew that if he went to one of these talks, he would be assassinated. Invitation after invitation, Nehemiah craftily responds with Nehemiah 6:3:

I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. 

Our great project is the life that God has blessed us with. We are carriers of the will of God, and mirrors of His One and Only Son, Jesus Christ. Our mission and goal are too great to go down on any simple adversity that appears. We must continue to persevere.

3. WHEN YOU SNATCH DEATH OUT OF THE JAWS OF VICTORY: This one originally confused me too, thinking, "shouldn't it be the other way around?" However, the other way around is a good thing. What we tend to do, is overlook our small blessings and focus on the negatives that surround us. We grow to become apathetic and tell ourselves lies in order to "protect ourselves." After some time, Ezra the scribe came and for the first time in many long years, the people were able to hear the Scripture read to them. As Ezra was reading the Word of God and listed out the reasons why people have suffered, people listening started to cry and be filled with sorrow. Nehemiah proclaimed to everyone that being able to listen to Scripture is a blessing, and that them being able to listen to it now, was a sign of God's forgiveness; that God continues to be their God, and that they should focus on that, highlighted in Nehemiah 8:10, one of my favorite verses:

Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. 

We strive to relook and refresh ourselves with those three verses, Nehemiah 4:14, Nehemiah 6:3, and Nehemiah 8:10, to give us perspective and strength when dealing with, coping with, conquering adversity in life with, of course, the strength of God.

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What Ken (the lead pastor at my church) recommended us do, was to write up a post-it note or piece of paper, with big bold letters:

TAKE THIS NOTE AND READ IT:

And then underneath, write out the three conditions that stop us from Joy, as well as something that you are personally challenged by.

When you won't fight.

When you think the enemy is too big.

When you snatch death out of the jaws of victory.

When __________________________

Finally, include the three inspirational verses found in Nehemiah that will help us remember:

Nehemiah 4:14 - Remember the LORD, who is great and awesome, and fight.

Nehemiah 6:3 - I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down.

Nehemiah 8:10 - Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

Tape this to a place you walk by often (a bathroom mirror seems to do well), and constantly remind yourself that God is for you, and be encouraged.

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling...

No, I'm not here to talk about medical schools and their rolling admissions process.  Rather, I'm going to be talking about my experiences and what I've learned from it.

Since getting accepted to Michigan, I wanted to figure out my living situation in Ann Arbor, but a point stood in the way.  Of course, Pham was the number one pick in the roommate draft (sorry, sports references are how I roll), and needless to say, it would have been legendary.  I had things mostly figured out, but nothing could be finalized; you can't go ahead and get a 2 bedroom apartment when you don't have both people finalized.

So here we go, impulsively speaking, Pham decided to choose Michigan out of the schools that he got accepted to, and of course, that's excellent news in and of itself, besides the fact that I now seemingly had my roommate for at least the upcoming M1 year...but...before we speak too fast, there's still a waitlist.

So perhaps I was forcibly ignoring the possibility that Pham will want to go to any other school than Michigan (in hindsight, it was kind of foolish of me).  So when Pham notified me that he was taking his talents to Manhattan to join Cornell Medical, I couldn't help but feel a little like the Cavaliers (NOTE: I am not by anyway equating Pham with LeBron...that is too unspeakable).

However, unlike Daniel Gilbert, and post slanderous nonsense on the internet and throughout the national media, God calls us to understand and forgive.  I learned that things always happen according to God's plan, and that meant placing me into an environment where I don't have the comfort of falling back to old friends, and pushing forth not only as a missionary, but also to expand my network and establish new contacts.

Score:    Steve -- 0 : Elusive Roommate -- 1

Fast forward a couple weeks.  Now I'm in the hunt for a new roommate, and by new, I mean brand new.  All of the people I've known from high school who are part of my Medical School class are girls, and so therefore, not on my list.  I originally planned to live in the fraternity Phi Rho, but apparently, missed the housing lottery because I was on the Wisconsin Dells trip.  How...inconvenient.

Needless to say, I went apartment hunting elsewhere in the area, and with a stroke of luck, managed to find a guy who (no homo) I really hit it off with.  We organized a couple trips to go and settle a living situation in a nice apartment.  However, right before we finished paying the deposit to hold the apartment, Phi Rho notified my roommate that he got off the housing waitlist, and he was seriously considering going for that.  He gave me a call and told me the, I guess, "great news."  In my mind, I only saw the flashing lights of the scoreboard:

Score:  Steve -- 0 : Elusive Roommate -- 2

But honestly, I was happy for the guy.  Seriously, it's like impossible to get to live in the medical fraternity, and so getting off the waitlist is  like winning the lottery, literally and figuratively.  In my heart, I felt a little helpless in the whole process; but I just realized that this was no curse.  I shouldn't be upset with what has happened; rather, I had to recall what I had learned the first time around.  I'll just have to keep rolling with the punches.  God will help settle everything in this turbulent time.

In summary, God challenges us to forgive, for no matter how grievous the act was against us, it pales in comparison to what our sins have done against the Lord Himself.  As Colossians 3:13 says, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you."