…this wagon of worry, this pushcart of pride, this locomotive of little faith?
I feel more and more out of control and the result of a crash is never a happy ending.
I need to stop feeling like I need to be in control of everything I do; truth be told, I can control little of what’s to come. I know that these things are better left to hands much more capable than my own, His hands, and yet I am unwilling to let go of whatever “free choice” I have.
I need to stop comparing myself to other people. Be it the result being feeling of inadequacy, or the unsubstantiated sense of pride for being better than someone at a certain aspect, it is never to the expense of anyone else. That may be the case now, but just having these types of feeling means that the mindset is still there, and only sooner and not later, will this spill out more catastrophically than the oil spill in the gulf. Why do I subject myself to meaningless comparison, when I know that everyone’s conditions and backgrounds are different, hence listing apples and oranges?
I need to stop actively looking for an answer, but rather, open my mind and my heart to what He has to respond. He’s been there, at times very clear to me, and other times, not so much. I need to stop thinking like a child, “If I can’t see it, then it’s not there.” This mentality just highlights the weakness of my faith and not completely trusting what the Lord has in store for me.
I need to find the brakes, and hopefully do not stomp on the gas while trying to do so.
1 comment:
mm i am sooo guilty of doing the same. sometimes i'm astounded by how little faith i actually have. but God has a way of leading me back to Him, and of taking care of me even when things don't turn out the way i want them to. so don't worry. :) just trust. He's got your back.
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