Junior Reflections

"If you were waiting for the opportune moment...that was it."

One of few things that Johnny Depp will say, and I will quote. I feel like my life is dictated by a series of missed opportunities, unfortunate issues on timing, priority clashes, and forcibly having to choose between two things that both matter to me. "Why can't I have it all," says my inner 5-year old.

As we may all be familiar with the tendency of hard tests to seem to "clump" together and come in waves; I find comfort in the one or two days after aforementioned waves, and just ride it back to shore. This year has taught me that it is more useful to appreciate the little things that are good, than to complain about the big things that are bad.

To be perfectly honest, I should be studying more and taking my last final a bit more seriously, but the motivation has leaked out from the holes in my older, broken body, and I was admittedly too lazy to bother remedying the situation. My heart goes out to those of you who are studying hard for your finals: stay resolute and finish strong.

Rather, I found it more interesting to start (and by start, I mean basically finish) packing; it has opened my eyes on how much stuff I've accumulated over the 3 years I've been here in St. Louis now. Honestly, when I came in as a silly, unknowing freshman, I had 2 boxes of food and school supplies, and 2 luggage cases of clothing. Now, leaving as a junior, I have 4 full boxes (each weighing probably around 50-60 lbs) of stuff (or crap, depending on your take), 2 overflowing luggage cases, and not to mention about a dozen bricks in my backpack, and an absurd weight in my carry-on. Is it that I assign that much value to material objects, or is it that I am simply unwilling to accept the fact that this world is too tangible and capitalist to truly give everything up and follow Jesus?

I suppose it's not my place to know this just yet, I still have much of my life to live, places to see, people to meet, and much distance to cover in my own spiritual path. However, I will leave with this.

Psalm 147:5

Great is our Lord, and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite.