The Mirror

I don't normally hide things in my room, but this would have to be an exception.

I have this mirror, a special mirror, that no one has seen besides me. I keep it in the drawer, next to where I keep all my consumable sundries. It is medium sized and round, about the face of perhaps a small medicine ball. It is framed with a silver-gray pewter finish, and the mirror itself has been kept clear and shimmering through careful maintenance and cleaning.

This mirror is not like any other mirror. In the contrary, it doesn't show me what I expect to see. It doesn't show me, what I want, need, or think to see. Rather, it shows me the things that few people are gifted to see, let alone speak up about. I'm not sure when I first found this mirror. I'm not even sure how long I plan on using it. Whenever I try to put it away, I somehow find myself looking into it again, asking it for confirmation, expecting the contrary.

In times when I see vanity and dressing up, my mirror shows me times of relaxed, sloppy comfort. In times when I see intelligence, my mirror shows me foolishness. When I feel sadness, my mirror shows me ecstasy and unparalleled joy. My mirror is perspective; it brings me down when I'm high and prideful, it raises me up when I'm down in the dumps. After all, what is beautiful without ugly, what is smart without dumb, what is pride without humility?

Tonight is no exception. I've taken out the mirror again, not even knowing what to expect. As I peer into the glossy transparent-looking surface of the mirror, I feel myself falling into it, never stopping for anything, unable to stop for everything. Despite this, I don't feel out of control, just confused, perhaps lost. I know I am psychologically, physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained; my mirror shows a past me, a carefree young boy of 10, free of repercussions and social pressures, full of energy. Do I want to return to that state? Is that something to yearn for? Naivety traded in for freedom? Ignorance for bliss?

I smile, put the mirror back into its spot in the drawer, and slowly shut the drawer, turn off the lights, and walk out the door, making sure the door closed behind me.